Chapter Two: From Rescuing to Manifesting
Oh man, that evening is going to be hard to describe, but here goes… After I read several beautiful comments of love & support, I was still beating myself up for not being TheDoggieWonderWomanMama like I thought I signed up to be. That day was a living nightmare & I needed it to end. I brought the dogs upstairs so we could call it a day and go to bed.
Sometimes the dogs will watch something moving in the dark while we’re in bed. Their eyes & heads move in unison & I don’t see a damn thing. I was hoping they’d do it that night because I like to believe it’s Maya with my other angels watching over us. And Lord knew I needed them fiercely right then..
This time I yelled in the darkness for her to come. Somebody come help me! I can’t do this! Why me????! I went to horrible places in my head imagining life without them. The part about doing what was best for them was slipping away.. Real fast. OMG, where is Maya? Where are my angels? I can’t do this. They won’t be ok without me. They NEED me. How will I ever forgive myself for this?? First Maya, then Beau, then PJ & now them.. At that moment, I felt MY LIFE WAS OVER.
Not quite. Hold up. This was some really dramatical shit. I needed to pull it together. Damn. Then LOLA moved & got that look in her eye. That look she gets right before I feel Maya’s presence… and she was with me, with us again. It all sucked a second ago. But with her & the posse up above, I knew I was going to make it. Come hell or high water, so help me God.. I AM GOING TO MAKE IT.
So, I put my order in… To The Universe, to God, to my Guides.. Please bring Harriet a safe, loving home with a person or family she deserves and is meant to bless. (In my head it was a sweet little old lady who could spend all day with her watching soap operas & knitting). Whoa! Talk about manifesting! Less than 24 hours later an adoption application arrived… & it read just like my order. They turned out to be a lovely retired couple who only speak poodle, wanted to adopt (not shop) for the first time & THEY WANTED HARRIET! Please be clear..They passed the most rigid application process by me personally.
Here’s Harriet with her new Mama Janet.
Harriet & I arrived at her beautiful new country home. In the meantime, this lovely couple found their way to my blog post..which horrified me..nice church folk seeing the curse words & all?? Oh, Crap! But it turned out that Janet also has an autoimmune disease & told me, “Ya know… Sometimes we say things when we’re in pain.” Yup, just when I’m in pain I do that.. They were too wonderful for words. I left crying, but it was bittersweet. Found out Harriet chased some light after I left then fell asleep on her new Daddy’s lap. I am grateful. I wish them all love and happiness.
I have my eyes on the big picture, the greatest good for all of us & I’m lifting us up to a new level so we can all grow, expand, love and breathe again. I have many sistas who are holding me up, omg, so blessed…& calling me on all my shit. Not fun, but necessary. I had to take the first step & the rest is trust in myself & God. I’ve already received the gifts of knowing what I know now. The gifts that now I can’t give back. It’s all a part of making me stronger & better.
Now it’s Eldi’s turn. She’s the next most sensitive dog in my home. She’s a terrier mix with tons of energy. I’ve put the order in for her to find a safe loving home with a person or family she deserves and is meant to bless. She loves kids & wants to learn how to skateboard. Here is her adoption listing with more information on petfinder courtesy of my friends at RPM:
“Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever’s worst.
Perfection is a disease of a nation, pretty hurts, pretty hurts.
Pretty hurts, we shine the light on whatever’s worst.
We try to fix something but you can’t fix what you can’t see.
It’s the soul that needs the surgery.” —Beyoncé